The other day at the park, I noticed a few beautiful women walking together during the stunning sunset we had. I smiled at them, and then watched as they turned to yell to a friend who was further away from them. They turned back to each other, and one nastily says, "she is so fat. She literally never stops eating."
My heart sank. On this beautiful day on the beach, with so many friends and families gathered to enjoy the water and each other's company, and I experienced this darkness.
I wanted to go to their friend, who was gorgeous by the way, and tell her she needed some new friends because hers suck.
I think this was the reason I didn’t make female friends for a long time. I felt more comfortable and safe around the relaxed, noncompetitive (towards me anyways!) nature of men. At one point, I felt I didn’t need female friendships! I thought I was just different.
I’m not. After my path towards healing brought me more in tune with (and moderately obsessed with) my femininity and less attached to my tomboy-self, I realized how crucial soul-nourishing female companionship is. Sisterhood. The women in my life are now everything to me, and I would be nothing without that connection.
And this is what I was thinking as I saw these girls being so hateful with their ‘friend.’ I was thinking of the spectacular, awe-inspiring power we have as women, and how we waste it with insecurity and superficiality. And this isn’t our fault. We are engrained to think these things and to pose judgment on our peers. But when we worry about things like the size of someone’s thighs or the unflattering selfie they took, we degrade the innate perfection that is us. By nature, we are pure love. And we are covered up by this cloud that is made of that insecurity, fear, and pain. Our work in this life is to remove that cloud and let our love shine bright. Nothing else matters.
So, as much as I wanted to tell those women off, I closed my eyes for a moment and sent them all of the love and prayers that I could, hoping that one day they will choose love instead of fear, and the miracle of sisterhood can shine forth.